Haute Tension (2003)

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Dune (1984)

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The Killer (1989)

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The Big Short (2015) & Arrival (2016)

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Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker (2002)

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Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (1972)

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Hard Boiled (1992)

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Don’t Breathe (2016)

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[REC] (2007)

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Unbreakable (2000)

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Latest Reviews

Read up on the movies we’ve been devouring lately.

Unbreakable (2000)

Unbreakable is a thriller and drama that was written, produced, and directed my M. Night Shyamalan. Now, before you click away, I want you to look at the year this movie was released. This was hot on the heels of The Sixth Sense and naturally, Shyamalan wanted a more...

Hackers (1995)

I'm going to preemptively defend myself here: I love trash films most of the time. I watched The Bye Bye Man, for Christ's sake. It was atrocious, but honestly, I kind of love that I hate it so much. It's a weird feeling. But you're not here to read about my gross,...

Misery (1990)

The worst facet of any artist, is their fans. I don't know who said it originally but I can say, tongue fully removed from cheek that I believe that statement to be true. Maybe more now than I ever thought possible. Misery is one of many Stephen King novels to be...

Hellraiser VII: Deader (2005)

For those out of the loop on my self-imposed suffering: Hellraiser (1987), Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988), Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth (1992), Hellraiser IV: Bloodline (1996), Hellraiser V: Inferno (2000), and Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker (2002). Let's get down to...

Dune (1984)

Frank Herbert’s Dune is probably one of the most important sci-fi novels of all time. Published in 1965, I think it’s fair to say that most sci-fi books and films since then owe something to Dune. So it’s understandable that Hollywood would be eager to produce a film...

The Marine (2006)

Despite my love of weird, artsy movies, I've got soft spots for schlock and Big Dumb Action Movies. Commando, Predator, Crank are all well within my wheelhouse, and while I thought at most of these films were stuck in the '80s or only found in crazy neo-grindhouse...

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Everything Else

Get your fill of our unwarranted opinions, incoherent ramblings, and desire to quantify art.

Horizon: Zero Dawn (2017)

Horizon: Zero Dawn was the inspiration for me to begin writing in this blog. I'll just tell you upfront that I absolutely loved it an I think it will be as a strong contender for Game of the Year. Considering a new DLC for the game was announced this week at E3, I...

Why You Should Start Playing RPGs Right Now

Well, maybe not right now. I don’t know your life. Maybe you’re reading this at 4am in a train station, or in a boardroom sitting through an impossibly long and boring meeting that you thought you’d attend because you were accidentally CC’d on an email about it. By...

We’re Expanding!

Hi folks! Long time no read. As all three of you know, this is a movie blog. When I started Coffee and Illithids, I had no idea what I wanted to write about, but I decided to focus on one of my favorite art forms: movies. I also had an interest in writing about my...

Coffee And Illithids Is On Social Media!

Coffee And Illithids is officially on social media! What better way to stay up to date with the blog than to have my 1000 word essays on weird movies seep into your various news feeds! If you'd like to follow Coffee And Illithids on Facebook, you can click right here....

Friday the 13th: From Worst to Best

I think I've made it clear that I really like the Friday the 13th movies. There are twelve of these movies, with a thirteenth slated to come out next year and while they get a bad rap for being schlocky tits-and-gore horror movies (spoilers: they are 100% unapologetic...

Coffee & Illithids is the place to find interesting and entertaining media reviews and opinion pieces written by a grumpy caffeine addict, his friends, and anyone else he can rope into writing for him.

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