We did it! We made it to the end of the original run of Halloween films! Everybody come get drunk with me and celebrate one great movie, a couple okay ones, and a whole slew of shit. I don’t have much else to say in my preamble here, I’m just excited to move away from an old, dated slasher franchise and start working my way through an old, dated, rebooted slasher franchise.
Halloween: Resurrection is the eighth film in the Halloween franchise and the first before Rob Zombie infamously took the reigns. It’s directed by Rick Rosenthal, the director of Halloween II, one of the better in the series and stars Jamie Lee Curtis (!), Katie Sackhoff (!), Tyra Banks (?) and Busta Rhymes (!). Regardless of the quality of this entry into the Halloween series, you’ve got to be interested in how a cast like that would work in a slasher film.
Halloween: Resurrection takes place a few years after the events of the tragically titled Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later. Michael Myers is hunting down his sister Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) before returning to his childhood house to terrify a group of young actors participating in Dangertainment, an awful early 2000s reality TV show. (more…)
Back to the grind. I’m so close to wrapping up the original Halloween series that I can taste it. All I have left to watch is Halloween Resurrection before I start on the duo of Rob Zombie flicks that I can say I hate because it’s cool to hate on Rob Zombie even though a majority of the films in the original franchise are awful (fight me, Halloween fans). I’m actually curious if I might like Zombie’s Halloween and Halloween II more than most people because I don’t have a zealous devotion to the almost 40 year old series. I’m getting ahead of myself, here. I’ve just cleared the seventh of the eight original films, and I’m rearing to go fly down the home stretch.
Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later is the worst titled slasher film ever, and was a nice change of pace to the Halloween franchise when it came out. Directed by Steve Miner (Friday the 13th parts 2 and 3), H20 made a point to completely ignore the giant, incoherent mess that was Halloween 4, 5, and 6.
H20 follows a disguised Laurie Strode twenty years after the events of John Carpenter’s Halloween and Halloween II. Jamie Lee Curtis makes a return as Laurie Strode, now living as Keri Tate, the headmistress of a private school in California. Her son, John (Josh Hartnett) is also there, whenever the plot demands it. Michael Myers tracks Laurie down and makes a sweet road trip from Illinois to California to confront her and try to kill her again. It’s pretty much just a direct sequel to 1981’s Halloween II, but Jamie Lee Curtis was twenty years older than she was in the original, so they obviously had to push that aspect. Also, LL Cool J is in this movie. (more…)
Settle down folks, settle down. I know you’ve all been waiting for this one. I know out of all the things I write about here, the thing I know as an objective fact, is that everyone wants me to continue watching and reviewing the Hallowe– oh, you don’t care about a late entry in a dying (some would consider it dead by the time this film came out) slasher franchise? Well, uhh, too bad. I watched it, so now I’m going to write about it.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is the fifth sequel in the Halloween series that nobody asked for. I’m surprised that it took six whole movies for the producers to stop tying a number to the title, usually that ends at the third or fourth movie when they’re embarrassed by how many sequels they’re shitting out for a quick buck. To be honest, I’m a little tired of the subtitle of these movies being The [Insert Thing Here] of Michael Myers.
I’ve honestly been trying to write this review for months (my last Halloween review was in June) and that paragraph is the only thing I’ve managed to conjure up about the movie without rolling my eyes so hard I get brain damage. Since this will stay in my Post Draft folder forever unless I delete it or post it, I present to you a review of comparable laziness and shittiness to its subject. Here are the unedited notes I took while watching Halloween: The Curse of Neverending, Sub-par Slasher Sequels.
Here we go again. A week ago I rambled about Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, and I thought it was pretty mediocre. It was poor enough that most people would let the franchise go and say “well, that was pretty shit, so I’m not going to see the next one unless I happen to hear good things about it”. I feel like if I was around in the ’80s I would feel the same way. However, here I am, less than an hour until midnight, having just watched the fifth installment into this franchise that refuses to die.
Halloween 5 is the worst of the Halloween movies that I’ve seen so far. The problem with it is that I can’t immediately dismiss it as being a piece of trash, because it isn’t. It isn’t wholly irredeemable, and that pisses me off. There are facets of this movie that are good despite a vast majority of it being a confusing, irritating mess.
Halloween 5 was directed by Franco-Swiss director Dominique Othenin-Girard and stars Danielle Harris and Donald Pleasence returning as Jamie Lloyd and Dr. Loomis. A year after the events of Halloween 4, Michael Myers returns to Haddonfield again to try and finish off Jamie once and for all.
Oh, also, Jamie has a psychic link to Michael Myers.
I’m a big fan of slasher movies. My all time favorite horror movie is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and my favorite horror franchise is far and away the Friday The 13th series. I’ve spent countless hours devouring B and C list slasher movies, as well as diving in to the satire-slashers of the last 20 or so years (Scream, The Final Girls, and Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon come to mind). The one slasher villain that has never fully captured my attention is Michael Myers of the Halloween franchise. I’m a really big fan of the original 1978 Halloween (I have a huge movie boner for John Carpenter, but let’s be honest, who doesn’t?), and I enjoyed Halloween II: Halloween Harder, so I figured I would finally get around to continuing my pursuit of The Shape and get down to watching Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers.
Yes, despite there being ten of these movies, this one is the Return of Michael Myers. I guess it’s like how the fourth and ninth Friday the 13th movies are titled The Final Chapter and The Final Friday respectively, when neither of those are actually the final movie in the series. Slasher franchises are not the pinnacle of forethought and planning. For those of you who don’t know: Halloween III: Season of the Witch was considered a huge disappointment for most Halloween fans, as it didn’t include Michael Myers, so when 1988 rolled around and it was time to pump out the first Halloween movie not to involve John Carpenter in the slightest, you can bet your bottom dollar that the studios made damn sure that everybody was certain that our friend Mr. Myers was showing up in this flick. I mean, how else would they fill those theater seats? Certainly not by making a great movie, that’s for sure. (more…)